Befrienders Malaysia - Finding Help

Finding Help > Signs > Facts and Fallacies > Do's and Don'ts

Signs

Signs Avoids friends and activities.

Talks about wanting to die.

Can’t sleep.

Is moody, teary or quiet.

Starts neglecting his or her appearance.

Appears to have no energy or no appetite.

Expresses feelings of despair, hopelessness and helplessness.

Tries to cut or hurt himself/ herself.

Starts giving away personal possessions.

Makes statements like ‘It’s my fault’ or ‘I won’t be around to face…’

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Myth	Persons who talk about suicide, do not commit suicide.
Facts	Of any 10 persons who will commit, 8 have given definite warnings of their suicidal intentions.

Myth	Persons who talk about suicide, do not commit suicide.
Facts	Studies reveal that suicidal persons give many clues and warning regarding their suicidal intentions.

Myth	Suicidal people are fully intent on dying.
Facts	Most suicidal persons are undecided about living or dying, and they “gamble with death”, leaving it to others to save them. Almost no one commits suicide without letting others know how they are feeling.

Myth	Once a person is suicidal, they are suicidal forever.
Facts	Individuals who wish to kill themselves are suicidal only for a limited period of time.

Myth	Suicide strikes much more often among the rich, or, conversely, almost exclusively among the poor.
Facts	Suicide is neither the rich man’s disease nor the poor man’s curse. Suicide is represented proportionately in all levels of society.

Myth	Suicide is inherited or “runs in the family”.
Facts	It follows individual patterns.

Myth	Improvement following a suicidal crisis means that the suicidal risk is over.
Facts	Most suicides occur about 3 months following the beginning of “improvement”, when the individual has the energy to put his morbid thoughts and feelings into effect.

Myth	Suicide attempters are just looking for attention.
Facts	Most people considering suicide are sincerely reaching out for help. Their cries should not be taken lightly.

Myth	Talking about suicide encourages people to do it..
Facts	When listened to with care, suicidal people get a chance to express themselves and may find relief.

Myth	All suicidal individuals are mentally ill, and suicide is always the act of a psychotic person.
Facts	Studies of hundreds of genuine suicide notes indicate that although suicidal people are extremely unhappy, they are not necessarily mentally ill.

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Do's

Approach your friend and let him/ her know you have noticed.

Ask about his/ her well-being.

Listen to his/ her problems and feelings.

Be accepting, do not judge.

Be patient and gentle.

Show that you care.

Ask openly and directly if he/ she is thinking of harming himself/ herself.

Take threats seriously.

Get help.

Call Befrienders.

Don'ts

Don’t offer empty words or reassurance.

Don’t give up on your friends – maintain contact with the person at risk.

Never assume that talk of suicide is simply a manipulation for attention.

Don’t think that having previously failed an attempted suicide will prevent someone from another attempt.

Don’t minimize your friend’s pain

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