Have you lost a loved one to suicide?
	Do you need someone to talk to? Have you lost a loved one to suicide? Do you know someone who needs help? Would you like to help us? More information about Befrienders List of useful contacts	We’re here to listen to whatever you need to say. Call us at 03-7956 8144/5 or e-mail at sam@befrienders.org.my Facts and fallacies (myth) of suicide Ø Myth: Persons who talk about suicide, do not commit suicide; FACT: Of any 10 persons who will commit, 8 have given definite warnings of their suicidal intentions. Ø Myth: Suicide happens without warning; FACT: Studies reveal that suicidal persons give many clues and warning regarding their suicidal intentions. Ø Myth: Suicidal people are fully intent on dying; FACT: Most suicidal persons are undecided about living or dying, and they “gamble with death”, leaving it to others to save them. Almost no one commits suicide without letting others know how they are feeling. Ø Myth: Once a person is suicidal, they are suicidal forever; FACT: Individuals who wish to kill themselves are suicidal only for a limited period of time. Ø Myth: Suicide strikes much more often among the rich, or, conversely, almost exclusively among the poor; FACT: Suicide is neither the rich man’s disease nor the poor man’s curse. Suicide is represented proportionately in all levels of society. Ø Myth: Suicide is inherited or “runs in the family”; FACT: It follows individual patterns. Ø Myth: Improvement following a suicidal crisis means that the suicidal risk is over; FACT: Most suicides occur about 3 months following the beginning of “improvement”, when the individual has the energy to put his morbid thoughts and feelings into effect. Ø Myth: Suicide attempters are just looking for attention. FACT: Most people considering suicide are sincerely reaching out for help. Their cries should not be taken lightly. Ø Myth: Talking about suicide encourages people to do it. FACT: When listened to with care, suicidal people get a chance to express themselves and may find relief. Ø Myth: All suicidal individuals are mentally ill, and suicide is always the act of a psychotic person; FACT: Studies of hundreds of genuine suicide notes indicate that although suicidal people are extremely unhappy, they are not necessarily mentally ill. Common characteristics of suicide Ø The common stimulus or trigger in suicide is unendurable psychological pain - “I am feeling choked inside, cannot stand it any longer”. Ø The common purpose of suicide is to seek a solution – “I am in an emotional trap. I must get out, suicide will solve everything, I cannot see any other way”. Ø The common stressor is frustration of psychological needs – “I feel I want to scream. I’m very angry and can’t get rid of it, I can’t cope with people, I have had enough”. Ø The common goal of suicide is a cessation of consciousness – to sleep, to stop the racing thoughts, the pounding in the head, “the closing in on me”. Ø The common emotion in suicide is helplessness, hopelessness – “There is nothing I can do, no one can help me, It is too late. I am a failure. I am so ashamed”. Ø The common internal attitude to suicide is ambivalence - “I want to live and I want to die, the battle goes on inside, I must kill myself but I could survive by accident”. Ø The common mental state in suicide is feeling stuck – “I feel the barriers are up, all the avenues of escape are closed. There are only two answers – a miracle, or death – there will be no miracle, nobody can do any more, I think I am in a tunnel and there is no light at the end”. Ø The common interpersonal act in suicide is communication – “It is all getting too much, they would be better off without me, sometimes I feel like ending it all, I have lost interest, feel very tired”. Ø The common action in suicide is escape – “I want to get out for good, I have had more than enough, this is the end, I cannot stand anymore, I am not going to put up with it”. Ø The common consistency in suicide is with lifelong coping patterns. Our defenses in stress and in crisis are generally consistent. Therefore, for the care of the suicidal, it is appropriate to give particular attention to their personality and previous reactions in crisis. The warning signs of suicide Ø Feelings of hopelessness Ø Expressions of wanting to end it all Ø Depression over a long period Ø Change in behavior, e.g. tension, sadness or anxiety Ø Great change in eating and sleeping habits Ø Giving away of precious possessions or making final arrangements Ø Feelings of withdrawal Ø Deep or prolonged grief over any loss – a death, a parting, break-up of a relationship Ø Overwhelming guilt or self-hate
© The Befrienders 2006